I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
