i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
