She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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