An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
