Only a mothe r could love this liver
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
