we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
