mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
