Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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