i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
