I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
