I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
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once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
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I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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