Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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