My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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