my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
