I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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