Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just high enough for therapy.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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