Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
