i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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