Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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