K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
