You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
i out mim tonsoeep
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
