are you so shy because you have an std?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I booty called her while she was in labor.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
