his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
