I heard we made out
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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