But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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