I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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