Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
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Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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