just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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