C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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