...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
