overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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