the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
