He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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