i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
