So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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