so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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