i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The beer is more important than you right now.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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