How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
