i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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