Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
