So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm getting married
To pizza
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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