We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
