my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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