hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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