Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
