My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
