last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize