Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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