so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
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my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
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It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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