Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
