My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize