someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Randomize
