I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
