I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
