his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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