I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
