Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize