I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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