riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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