it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
