hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
