At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
