Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize