somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
