ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
