I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
